Tuesday, January 25, 2011


Monday night is bowling night. Every week. Same time, same place, same people, same food... Like I've said previously, it's not always my favorite way to be spending the evening, but my husband is there and I kinda like him so it's fun to hang out with him.

Last night was just like every other, Bryan got home, showered, waited for me to shower and get ready, and waited a little more, and we were out the door by about 5:30pm. I always know it's going to be a good night by our car ride to the bowling alley. We were laughing, talking, and singing to Pandora in his car - then all of the sudden Bryan's phone rings.

Bryan: Hello? pause Um, I'm pretty sure I gave you the keys...maybe I set them on the counter, or they might be still on my pant belt loop. pause Well do you want me to turn around and go look for them? pause CRAP! (that's not the exact word he said but we'll go with that one)

Basically what had happened was Bryan's boss called and was asking him where he had put the keys to one of their work vans, Bry couldn't remember and even though we were only about fifteen minutes away from bowling, he whipped the Subie around and started heading back towards home to look for that key set.

The entire ride back to our apartment what do I hear? Silence... absolutely silence. No more laughing, talking or music to sing to. All I hear are the RPM's revving up to pass other cars and the rain hitting the windshield. Why do I find this so fascinating? Because Bryan deals with his anger and/or frustration with silence. Me? I want to hug, kiss and make up ASAP or throw in a joke to lighten the mood or ask reassuring questions like, "I don't think you had them on your belt loop did you?". Not my husband, he wants silence to think about what happened. He was beating himself up for not remembering to give his boss those keys. He had pursed lips like he was holding back wanting to curse because we were going to be late to bowling - and yet - still silence remained in the car.

It's hard for me to remember sometimes that we deal with these kind of and other situations differently. He quietly stews, and I outwardly spew! I just had to sit back and take a look at how he diffused this problem - with such ease and almost no worrying - can some of that please rub off on me? I really admire the way he handled that tonight and sure enough, we got home and the keys were still on his belt loop, we ran them to his boss and still made it to the bowling alley on time, singing and laughing again along the way.

Moral of the story? Sometimes silence is ok. This is a TOTALLY new concept for me. Thank you Bry for teaching me something new almost every day.

PS - if you're not so into silence, hop on over to my friend Ashley of the Tale of Two Taylor's blog, I did a guest post for her, after all yesterday I promised a super mushy post to my husband to celebrate our 6 month-a-versary of being hitched! I'll let this go ahead and take the place of Today's Letters Inspired Tuesdays.


  1. Sounds just like me and Tommy! He "quietly stews as I outwardly spew". I had to learn that silence is ok, too, and probably a better solution to problems than the way I normally handle things. =]

  2. This is exactly like Sean and me! Sean likes the silence, and I am just like you, always wanting talk it out and make up asap! I love this!! I need to realize silence is okay sometimes!

  3. Amanda this is SO true! I actually read a book about this called "Men are Waffles women are Spaghetti" men need that time to recoop. So So true! great post!

  4. I am all about making jokes in the silence. Sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's not. I'm glad he found the keys though! What a relief!

  5. Sounds like me and Ricky! Except for both of us use silence to deal with anger, so our fights go on forever. Literally hours of silent stewing with the occasional "What are you thinking?" thrown in. I'm getting better at saying what I'm feeling with minimal silent time, but it's still a struggle. Sometimes outwardly spewing can be a good thing!

  6. I really enjoyed this post!
    Just "discovered" your blog from Ashley's guest post today.
    And I LOVE smileys too! :->

  7. I "outwardly spew," but it's tears instead of words. So I wonder if I'm gonna be with a guy who silently stews?

  8. I've learned that silence can often times say more than I ever could with words! Now if i can only remember it when I get really heated :) ha

  9. Amanda - I love your posts. I'm following you right back. You probably get this all of the time but you have such a beautiful blog design!! :)


  10. I think it must have been in the air that day.. i tell ya.. and I'm with you. Ry does the silent think.. but instead.. it drives me insane :) lol